Time Of Your Life
by Magick Starr
Summary: It's the morning after one of many nights before, and Nikki's not sure if she can carry on like this. Slash.


A/N: Something that came to me over the weekend. Hope you like it. This is my first try at this pairing, so any feedback will be gratefully received! Song is 'Time Of Your Life' by Green Day and was chosen by Charmed Lassie.

* * *

Dianne rested her hand gently on Nikki's shoulder, the blonde Sergeant sitting quietly on the bed, unsure of quite what to say. Turning slightly, Nikki offered the brunette a small smile, the words she was about to whisper becoming caught in her throat. Another sign, she though to herself, that she should bite the bullet and tell Dianne the decision they both knew would have to come sooner or later.

'You alright?' The brunette murmured, knowing the sudden change in Nikki's expression could not be good, but at the same time not quite knowing how to deal with it. Sitting down next to the Sergeant, she placed her hand gently over the blonde's limp one.

Nikki took a deep breath, biting down on her bottom lip before shaking Dianne's hand off. 'We need to talk.'

_Another turning point;_

'Go ahead.' Dianne prompted, her voice as detached as she could muster, resolute in her attitude to let the blonde say all she wanted to.

'I… I think…' Nikki stuttered, her mind telling her that she needed to continue down this route and admit to Dianne everything she wanted when she was apart from the brunette. Although, even as she thought of that, she found herself having to fight a losing battle with her fingers that seemed to be itching to take hold of the PC's hand.

Seeing the blonde's fingers flex in her direction, Dianne moved her hand away, knowing from Nikki's pained expression that she was attempting to not reach out to her, and Dianne found herself determined that she would make this as easy as possible for her Sergeant.

_a fork stuck in the road._

'Say what you have to, Nikki.' Dianne pressed, noting the blonde's eyes flicker in pain as the hand she tried to hold was taken away.

'I don't think we can carry on like this.' She admitted, pausing briefly to let it sink in before continuing. 'It's not fair on you. And it's not fair on Doug.' She added, ensuring that the brunette knew her decision was as much about him as it was about her.

_Time grabs you by the wrist;_

'Are you saying you want to end this?' Dianne questioned, wanting to know she was sure about what the blonde was saying to her.

Nikki paused, taking in a deep breath, allowing her eyes to flutter shut briefly. This was the part she hadn't decided on. She knew that she had to do something, and she knew that she needed to make her choice; her problem was that she hadn't made it yet. She had hoped that seeing Dianne would help her to choose that she wanted to spend all day every day with her husband, problem was; it wasn't. Sitting next to the brunette was only making her want to be closer to her.

_directs you where to go. _

'I'm not sure.' She confessed, turning her head away quickly, finding herself unable to look Dianne in the eyes any longer. 'I think so.'

Dianne paused, looking helplessly to the blonde, having spent enough time around her to realise that she was struggling with her decision. Allowing her eyelids to shut momentarily, she let out the breath she hadn't even been aware she was holding in. 'It's your choice, Nikki. At the end of the day, only you can decide. And… If you decide you want to keep your life with your husband and children… I won't stand in your way.' She informed, her voice unwavering as she spoke, the brunette having to muster all her strength to keep it that way.

After seeing Nikki look down to her hands and examine a non-existent spot for a good few moments, Dianne realised she was going to have to speak again before she received a reply. 'That's not to say I don't want you around, because… If you did want to be with me… You and the kids.' She added firmly, 'Then… That'd be great. I just want you to know that if you want to stay with Doug, I'll accept that and let you get on with your life.' She commented, her tone now showing the signs of just how much this was affecting her as her voice began to break.

So make the best of this test 

Nikki looked back up to the brunette, toying with her bottom lip with her teeth briefly, before forcing the sides of her lips to curl briefly into a strained smile. 'Thanks.' She whispered breathily.

_and don't ask why._

After offering a half-smile in return, Dianne fell silent, allowing the blonde to carry on with the contemplation she was obviously undergoing. After sitting for a few minutes admiring the paint work in her own bedroom – the brunette making futile attempts not to stare at Nikki – Dianne took it upon herself to take their two empty wine glasses from the night before downstairs. She endeavoured to busy herself for as long as she could in the kitchen while Nikki sat in her bedroom.

_It's not a question_

Nikki relaxed a little more as Dianne and their previous night's washing up left the room. The blonde allowed herself to flop back onto the bed, stretching her arms out in front of her before placing them under her head, one elbow sticking out either side, lying on her back and looking directly up at the ceiling.

As time went on, Nikki became acutely aware of darkness creeping over herself, and her mind then fell to the fact that she still hadn't come to a decision, but that soon she would be expected to return home. Or – depending on her decision – inform Doug that she would no longer be calling their shared house her home.

_but a lesson learned in time._

Knocking gently on the door, Dianne re-entered her bedroom, switching the light on as she did, seeing her lover lying on the bed in the dark, sending her heart racing no matter how hard she tried to suppress her emotions.

Nikki pulled her head up. 'Hi.' She whispered smoothly, forgetting briefly the circumstances in which she was lying in her girlfriend's bed. Taking a breath in, she shifted awkwardly, sitting up and running her hand through her hair.

Dianne paused briefly, giving a slight smile, attempting to remove some of the harsh atmosphere that had so rapidly descended on them. 'Have you…' She began, not entirely sure how to ask the question that she needed the answer to.

_It's something unpredictable_

Nikki pursed her lips, taking as long as she possibly could to adjust her position, all the while staring straight at Dianne, attempting to force herself into making a choice. After a lengthy pause, she nodded.

Dianne ran her hand through her hair, not sure whether she was expected to ask what her decision was, or whether she was expected to assume the blonde would be making her way home in a few minutes.

_but in the end it's right._

'I can't leave him.' Nikki admitted, sniffing slightly in an attempt to fight back tears as she saw the brunette's eyes drop; though her body language telling her Dianne had expected it. 'I'm sorry, I'm really sorry.' Nikki continued, standing up and tilting Dianne chin up to look at her as she came to stand opposite the brunette. 'I care about you too much to let this go on any longer. I'm just sorry I can't make you happy.'

_I hope you had the time of your life._

Dianne looked deep into the blonde's eyes, allowing the moment to drag out for as long as possible before lifting her head off Nikki's finger and turning away. 'I guess you should be going, then.' She acknowledged, using the cover of leaving the room to allow herself to have her back to Nikki for long enough to wipe away the tears she could feel in her eyes.

_So take the photographs_

Nikki stayed still for a moment before following Dianne out of the room. 'Do you mind if I stay a bit, first?' she questioned, turning the bedroom light out and shutting the door as she did, first allowing herself one last glance at the bed she had shared so frequently with the brunette.

Dianne stuttered, not having expected that blonde to want to stay any longer. 'Er… Yeah, of course you can.' She responded as soon as she'd regained coherent speech.

_and still frames in your mind._

The brunette hurried into the kitchen on hitting the bottom step, busying herself with the kettle while she heard Nikki make her way into the living room. Biting down on her lip, Dianne thought of how her life would change in the absence of the blonde's constant coming and going whenever she found time, the PC having to force herself into pursing her lips to fight back the tears about to escape her eyes. Finding an apt distraction, she poured the boiling water into two mugs, making the blonde a coffee as she had done so frequently before.

_Hang it on a shelf_

Hesitantly, the brunette made her way into her lounge, stopping briefly in the doorway to admire the blonde who looked deep in contemplation. Shaking her head, Dianne reminded herself that she could no longer look at the blonde it that way. The PC cleared her throat, walking into the room and placing the two mugs on the coffee table, flashing the blonde a relaxed smile as she did so, attempting to act as natural as possible given the circumstances.

_in good health and good time._

Nikki looked up, seeing the brunette smiling she blinked, checking that she was in fact seeing the woman she had just… For want of a better word, dumped, looking so calmly and adoringly at her. 'Thanks.' She murmured, pursing her lips in a bid to prevent her eyes from filling with the tears she knew were dying to escape. Leaning forward, she picked up the drink, noting that as always Dianne had made it cool enough to drink straight away, a trait Nikki knew, much like all her others, she would never forget.

_Tattoos of memories_

Sighing, Nikki swirled her cup around, drinking the remainder of the liquid before standing up awkwardly, taking the two empty mugs into the kitchen before returning, wiping her hands down the sides of her jeans and pulling on her coat that had been discarded on the sofa the night before. 'I should get going.' She commented, her face contorting into a frown as she struggled with how to say goodbye to the woman she knew she would have to see every day at work, but knew she would never look at in the same light.

Seeing Nikki hesitate, Dianne took the first move, standing up and moving towards the door. 'Mmm, it's getting late.' She called as she entered the hall, opening the front door and standing partly obscured by it, not giving Nikki the opportunity to touch her on her way out.

'Yes.' Nikki remarked, walking straight past the brunette, as it appeared she was expected to and standing on the doorstep. 'Well… I'll… See you tomorrow at the station, then.' She concluded ineptly, forcing a smile onto her face as she did so.

'Yeah, see you tomorrow.' Dianne responded, smiling back and waiting for a few seconds, closing the door only after she'd seen the blonde begin to walk down the path away from the house and towards the car.

_and dead skin on trial._

As the door clicked shut, Dianne fell back against it, the tears she'd been fighting back for hours finally escaping and running down her cheeks in amongst silent sobs she could no longer suppress. After a few moments she pulled herself together, making her way back into the living room and shutting the curtains, seeing the blonde's car disappear down the road. Her bottom lip quivering, she sat back down on the sofa, wiping her eyes as she left more tears cascade down her face.

_For what it's worth,_

Seeing her phone flash on the table, it vibrated and the short tone informed her that she had received a text. Pausing briefly, she leaned forward, picking up the small gadget to see a picture of herself and Nikki smiling, telling her the message had come from the blonde's phone. Taking in a deep breath, Dianne opened the text, revealing what the blonde had to say. It was obvious, on reading, that the text was intended to say to the brunette what Nikki had not mustered when they were face to face. It simply read 'Thank you. I don't know what I'd have done if you hadn't made it so easy. I'll never forget you, Di, I'll never stop loving you. Nikki.'

Pursing her lips, Dianne deleted the text, putting her phone down on the arm of the sofa briefly before picking it back up, scrolling through her contact list before it came to rest on the blonde's name. Opening the name card, she began to edit it, deleting the picture of herself and the blonde, removing the only photo she had of them together from the gadget.

_it was worth all the while._

* * *

Nikki looked up to the ceiling of her car, having parked just around the corner from Dianne's house, ensuring she was out of sight of the brunette were she to look out of her window. Running her hand over her eyes, she broke down into sobs, feeling tears pour out of her eyes.

_It's something unpredictable_

It took her quite a while to focus herself enough to begin to calm her crying, wiping her eyes once again as she removed all the tears she could. Pursing her lips, she took deep breaths, relaxing herself enough to pick up her mobile and dial her husband's number.

_but in the end it's right._

'Doug, hi. Yes, I know, sorry, I was working late. I'm on my way home; I'll be about fifteen minutes. Yep, see you then.' She concluded before hanging up, pulling herself together enough to start the engine once again and make her way home.

_I hope you had the time of your life._

Nikki took a deep breath in, placing her keys on the table by the front door, allowing herself a moment's peace before strolling confidently into the kitchen, seeing Doug standing by the microwave. 'Good timing.' He commented as the machine bleeped, informing them the food was done. 'Kids have had their food. They're in bed, I told them not to wait up because you might be a while and that you'd see them in the morning, hope you don't mind.'

'No, no not at all. Thanks for sorting them out, I'm sorry, I'll make sure I'm not this late again.' She replied, taking two plates out the cupboard as Doug took the food out the microwave, the blonde taking a spoon and emptying half onto one plate and half onto the other. 'Thanks.' She commented, taking a glass of wine out of his hand and wandering into the living room with her plate in her hand.

_It's something unpredictable_

Nikki settled down on the sofa, smiling when Doug sat next to her, the blonde picking up the remote and flicking the TV on, ensuring she turned the volume down. Picking up the glass of wine she'd placed on the coffee table, she took a sip before beginning her meal, sitting in silence next to her husband, the only sound the odd quiet laugh from one of them as they watched the tele.

_but in the end it's right._

Trailing her fork around the plate, biting down on her lip slightly, Nikki looked over to Doug, finding herself unable to look at him, she stood up, taking his empty plate to the kitchen as she went. Standing in the kitchen, she ran the hot tap, filling the sink with soapy water before washing the plates, peering into the living room to see Doug having changed the channel and intently watching the football.

_I hope you had the time of your life. _

* * *

Dianne sighed, hearing a knock at the door. Anticipating they would leave her alone if she failed to respond, she remained seated on the sofa, deciding half past ten was too late for visitors anyway. Though, as she heard a second knock, she realised whoever it was didn't feel like leaving her alone. Groaning, she pulled herself up, yawning, before making her way to the door, gasping unexpectedly when she opened it to reveal Nikki standing red-rimmed on her doorstep.

_It's something unpredictable_

Dianne rubbed the blonde's shoulders, handing her a mug of hot chocolate as she positioned herself on the arm of the sofa, not entirely sure how to react to her former lover turning up.

'Thanks.' Nikki murmured, looking up briefly, her bottom lip quivering as she saw the brunette again. 'I… Erm… I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come here, I just…' She paused, unable to continue, preparing for the brunette to chuck her out at any moment.

'Go on.' Dianne pressed, wanting to find out what had happened to prompt the teary blonde to turn up on her doorstep.

'I just… I'd just settled down for an evening on the sofa with Doug, you know… Microwave meal, bit of tele, that kind of thing, and then… Then something changed.' She commented, not knowing how else to describe the sudden urgency she had felt to see Dianne again.

'What changed?' Dianne questioned, instantly fearing the worse and imagining that Doug had done something to cause her to be reduced to such a mess.

'I just… Realised it wasn't what I want. I realised it wasn't who I want.' She corrected, looking to Dianne for some sort of recognition.

_but in the end it's right._

'And I know… That I should have realised earlier, when I was with you, but… I was trying to convince myself that I wanted to spend my life with my husband.'

Dianne paused, unsure of what she was meant to say. 'Have you left him?'

Nikki nodded.

'What about the kids?'

'We're going to discuss it tomorrow after work. I just needed to get out the house tonight.' She explained, looking ashamedly to the brunette. 'I'm sorry… I'm sorry I didn't realise earlier. Is… Is it too late?' She questioned nervously, biting down on her bottom lip as she did so, standing up from the sofa, surprised when she found the brunette did the same and closed the gap between them.

Dianne paused, running a hand through the blonde's hair. She smiled at the blonde before closing her eyes and pressing her lips against Nikki's, feeling her body press against her, one arm snaking around her waist. As the brunette pulled back, she breathed, 'It's never too late.'

_I hope you had the time of your life. _


End file.
